


Another terrible aspect was that in cut scenes the characters’ faces would only load half-way, so I would be left to look at some sort of clay creation reminiscent of a creepy Wallace and Gromit parody. The actual action gameplay got repetitive as every fight seemed to be exactly the same the incessant button-mashing and the shocking attempts at quick time events quickly grew tedious. There were so many faults that I don’t know where to begin. I had been holding out some slight hope that what the game lacked in story it would make up for in gameplay. There were also attempts at making the game saucy by including sex scenes, but even sex scenes lose their novelty when they occur every two seconds and the people involved are clothed. There are multiple instances of ‘plot twists’ wherein the player is introduced to a character and the game attempts to make you like them, and then they’re killed moments later.

The story unravels from there and only maintains interest by making you want to see what ridiculous thing is going to happen next. It starts off with Jake Conway, whose father is an old enemy of biker gang “The Devil’s Hand”, getting confronted by evil gang members whilst on a night out with his brother Mikey. Sadly I have no friends, so that option was not available to me! Still, I regret my decision to play this game alone more than anything that I have ever done.

It didn’t take me long to figure out that to have any kind of decent time playing this game you would need to be playing with friends, so that you can all laugh and point at the terribleness. I went into the game knowing it would be bad (that was the reason I bought it) but my main mistake was thinking that it would be fun-bad, rather than just ‘worst thing in the world’-bad. For starters this game did what it said on the cover: it rode me in to the ‘HELL’ that is this just barely playable game, although in my eyes hell is an understatement. Ride to Hell is an action shooter about bikers whose attempt to get revenge on an old enemy ends up getting an uncountable number of people killed. After playing this ‘game’ (if you can call it that) I boarded the hate train myself as I had experienced what no other human being should. I had been hearing from my friends and the internet that Ride to Hell Retribution was the worst game ever made, so I decided to see what all the fuss was about.
